30 Oct Ep. 20- Miscarriage- why even when “the pain recedes”- we need to share our story. Part 1.
Notes from Podcast:
- Society is conflicted- should you care or move on? Do we have the permission to mourn this loss or “simply move on?” Quote: ” Society only gives you the amount of time you have known about the pregnancy, to grieve the pregnancy…” So, if you have only known you were prego for 6 weeks- that is how long you are “allowed” to grieve.
- Do NOT expect your man to feel the same way you do about the loss. This only inflicts more pain and confusion. He will not feel the same loss as you.
- Share your story. Let others help you, tend to you, show they care.
- People say the Wrong thing, even when they “think” they mean well… it can be hurtful.
- Share the memories of: When the doctor calls… When the bleeding starts…. When the heartbreak floods your body-soul, mind, body…. This is the moment- life changes for you.
- The More you share- The More others will too… And Healing, Understanding, Compassion, and Change will Occur Regarding this Subject.
Why is it…. the second you have begun bleeding and are thrown into a whirlwind of emotions: so severe- so surreal- so UNFAIR! – you get a phone call from a friend telling you, “I’m having a Baby!” “It is a Girl/boy?” How cruel! How unusual. How poignant.
This is how the universe works. You are pregnant- glowing, petrified, and every muscle is on Alert. You find out a week later your best friend, a co-worker, a sister-in-law, an acquaintance is pregnant. And- All rejoice…. Then, the unthinkable strikes. How to cope with your new reality, while everyone else in your world is getting robust with the life growing in their belly?
DO Not Silence yourself! DO not hold your story close- like a private or “taboo” secret.
Jo Tiffany Scott Faulk’s story is for you. She is a pillar of strength and a beautiful mess- She represents the woman of 2016. Educated, Strong, decisive, loving husband, mother of 5.. going on 6 as when record… Strong in Faith, Soul and Community. A business woman. And yet, Life is still uncontrollable, still remains her only “curveball.”
Hear her story: Her story of 2 miscarriages. And how God used both of these stories to His Glory.
I realize this may be a cliche- “God’s Glory…” “His Story..” But- this is reality. John 10:10. There is a Thief out there who wants to “steal, kill, and to destroy.” He has a special agenda for us women… But we- must also have an agenda to FIGHT BACK! To not remain silent, to welcome stories of loss and joy, to embrace the broken hearted.. and say, I hear You! I Hurt for You!”
John 10:10b: says : “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
Abundant: Plentiful. Copious. Abounding. Over-Flowing. Lavish. Exuberant. This is my prayer for you, dear one.. May your life to be Like Joel 2:25-26(nkjv):
“So, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling, The consuming, The chewing locust… You Shall Have Plenty and be Satisfied. and you Shall Praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt Wondrously with you.”
This story is for you- dear one.
The loss is great, and should never be discounted. Your grief is real. I am speaking to you.
The Shauna Nieguist blog post: The Pain Recedes& We can Carry it Together.
Bittersweet> a most beautiful book: “The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness. “It’s the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity.
Enough. – an article published in her book Bread & Wine- a love letter to life around the table with recipes…. This article is so REAL! SO true to how pregnant women feel about friends who have miscarried and Women who have miscarried and are bombarded with expectant friends…